Failure for Success

Anyone who knows me, knows how much I LOVE structure and planning and goal setting. I'm just one of those people who likes to ensure I plan well so I don't failure. As the saying goes, those who fail to plan, plan to fail. Every time I hear that, I want to jump up and shout, "AMEN"! So, what happens when the planner lays out a strategy, sticks to it, and fails anyway. I experienced that today and am pondering that very question. Did I not plan correctly? Did I not purpose the correct amount of time needed for successful completion? Did I not take it seriously? Does answering yes to any of the above questions mean that I deserved or planned to fail because I failed to plan correctly? Honestly, I still haven't figured out the answer, but I am still learning to embrace each process of life the Lord has me in.

I am currently in a process of trusting in the Lord, in "deciding" to believe what he has shown me is my purpose and calling even though I don't see it coming to pass anytime soon. I went through a struggling season not long ago, when I had an "awakening" of what I am gifted to to and love to do and am currently NOT employed at doing. I was so unhappy, but I realized how much I was dishonoring the Lord out of not being content where I was and not being a good steward because I was not focused on what I should be. I decided that I would trust the Lord to fulfill what he has for me, and in the meantime, I'd purpose to be the focused employee that my company expects.

A few months ago, the leaders in my department asked me to take a test for an accreditation to help our company. I gladly said yes, not totally understanding why I'd need it if it doesn't have anything to do with my calling, but I didn't question it. I decided to trust in the Lord without knowing the plan or purpose to have this accreditation. I planned out study times and worked it around my scheduled, along with making sure to be faithful to myself to keep the study time allotted. I went about my normal schedule without taking on too many strenuous activities, as not to over load myself, and by all accounts it looked like a well devised plan.

About a month ago, I decided to take a leap of faith by "falling into the Lord's arms", which is what I kept feeling him tell me to do, by purchasing a net book to begin writing a book. Two days later, I was asked to become involved in another opportunity at work for planning and employee education in the area I was studying to become accredited in! I was in a daze. I kept asking the Lord, what do you want me to do? I have to explain, I've always been the type of control freak to not take a leap of faith unless I could see where I was leaping to and that there was always ground for me to land on. I just didn't know what the Lord wanted from me.

As the test date drew near, I decided to keep walking by faith. I kept confidence in the Lord, trusting he would guide me as needed, to pass the test. I kept hearing, "fall into my arms". I kept saying, Lord I know you have a plan whether I pass or fail. I NEVER EXPECTED TO FAIL! Now the question comes, did I mean everything I said? Do I really believe he has a plan when I fail? What happens when the control freak, lets go, trusts God, and fails?

Even as I write I am realizing that often times, what I see as a failure, he has planned for my success. I once read somewhere that, "how you handle failure, will determine your success". I've realized that failure can be used as a guide for direction to show what path not to take, so is it really "failure" then, or my personal road map to success. I've come to realize in life how powerful perception really is. It does matter if it's the truth or not, but how one sees the truth to be.

So what happens when the planner has planned correctly and failed? I don't know yet, but I'll let everyone know on the other side of this process I'm in. What I do know, is that my God is faithful to finish the awesome, amazing work he has begun in me and everything in my life will be used for his glory.

Wisdom vs Knowledge

Recntly I've come a place where I've been able to see the difference between wisdom and knowledge in so many areas of my life. I have realized that a person can have a lot of knowledge, yet no wisdom. I have also realized a person doesn't need to have a lot of knowledge to have a lot of wisdom. The title a person holds only tells me how much of an education they have or how long they've been in their current field of employment. The fruit of a person's life tells me much about their wisdom. Recently, I had an opportunity to spend time with several young people and one child stood out the most because he was the oldest yet acted the least mature and exhibited to know more than most of the children, yet the fruit he produced was rotten because he was the most disruptive and disrespectful to the adults around him. Another child began to become influence by this young man and I was able to speak wisdom (in my older age) to tell the second young man how much of a leader he was and that the older boy was trying to impress him and to walk in his anointing of leadership and not become a follower of the person impressing him. The younger boy listened to the wisdom and made a decision to act as a leader. The demeanor of the older boy changed to a less disruptive manner, once he saw he was not getting the attention he desired. The fruit produced in the younger boy was an example to the other children around him on how to behave. He also receive respect for the adults who noticed the difference in the two. Bad fruit came from the one with the most knowledge, but good fruit came from the one who chose to recognize the good wisdom given to him and walk in it.
My life own life is similar. I used to believe in order to have respect and be a leader, I needed to earn a degree to show how smart I was or have some title follow my name. The Lord has shown me the exact opposite. The world often equates having a lot of knowledge or a big title to being wise. My life scripture is 1 Corinthians 1:27-31. The world used me up and threw me away when it was finished and thought I had nothing more to offer. I was a high school drop out, teenage mother, former prostitute. The Lord reach into the trash the world threw me in, cleaned me off, and told me who I was in him. I am a daughter of the most high king, a gift to my husband, cleaned and made righteous through the shed blood of his only son Jesus, whom he allow to hang on a cross so I could find my way back home to my father in heaven, the king and creator of the universe. People I come across with big titles are confounded by the wisdom I have been given only by the Lord, but given freely, as James 1:5 says. The Lord has given me the favor and respect that I thought only a title attained from knowledge or fame and fortune would bring. I have come to appreciate that knowledge is beneficial for understanding this world, but when choosing between wisdom and knowledge, I will seek after wisdom vs knowledge.

Creative Beginning

Well, it's been my desire to write for some time now, but I haven't made the leap. I know writing is involved in my calling yet I've never gotten out of the boat so see if I had enough faith to walk on the water. I decided to finally GET OUT OF THE BOAT! A man admire greatly has a quote, "I'd rather be a wet water walker than a dry boat talker". I agree.